Day by Day
by Catastrophic Monsoon
Summary: Ichigo/Hitsugaya. Mention of an unnamed OC. Ichigo thinks back and regrets. Song fic but it only has parts of the song, so dont worry about excessive lyrics.


THANK YOU to my wonderful beta, Hichigomate :D She writes _amazing _fics :D The song I used is called Haru Haru (Day By Day) by Big Bang. They are so awesome xD I deleted some parts of the song so it would make more sense with the story and changed some words around to make it flow easily.

Ok, I don't own Bleach or the song by Big Bang, I wish...

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_Finally I realize that I'm nothing without you._

_I was so wrong, forgive me_

Please forgive me; I should have known better than to doubt you. I should have done so much more for us. All that time together and just like that, it's over. After all the yelling-the crying-I thought you would return. I was selfish in thinking that I was the only one for you, even though I broke your trust in me.

_Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you  
You don't answer as I cry out "I miss you"  
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless._

Months pass by like a blur. I wander around town and I see you with him. I see you laughing and the way you look up at him shatters my heart. That's how you should look at _me_! Only me! I imagine myself walking up to you and looking into your eyes. You would realize that we were meant to be together, that it was fate, but I couldn't for these intense feelings suffocated me. I turn around and leave.

_Did you already completely forget me?  
I am worried; I feel anxiety because I can't even approach you or talk to you._

Back at my house I sit down on my bed and begin thinking. I remember how happy you looked with him and I can't bear the thought of destroying that again. Oh how much I wanted to see you again, to wrap you tightly in my arms and tell you how much I love you! All of a sudden I start crying and can't stop; it seems all those feelings I have inside have burst open. Realizing that we can never be together again, I decide to let you go.

It was at the New Years party that I saw you again with him. Our eyes connected and I held my breath. You looked so amazing-I had foolishly thought I could keep my feelings buried, hidden. I was horribly wrong and I looked away first. I turned around to leave but then I felt you grab my arm. Standing there with my head down I kept thinking, _please let go. Just please let me go_. I knew if I looked you in the face I would beg you to return to me.

You spoke and told me that you had tried to get a hold of me, that you wanted to talk. I refused to speak, instead continuing to look at the floor. You plowed foreword nonetheless, stating that a part of you felt like something was missing. At that I sharply looked up and opened my mouth to tell you the same, but noticed that you were close to tears, that your voice trembled. I raised my hand as if to put it against your cheek but froze midway. We both heard him call your name, the anxiety layering his voice. I felt you hesitate and again I realized how much better off you were with him. Lowering my hand I quietly tell you that there was nothing to talk about, that our time together was over. Smiling softly, I suggested that you go back to him. You stared at me silently. I saw you were about to protest but something stopped you. A few beats of silence and you slowly released my arm. Blinking away your tears you give a small smile in return. At last you say goodbye and walk away.

_Don't look back and leave  
Don't find me again and just live on  
Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories  
I can bear it in some way  
I can stand it in some way  
You should be happy if you are like this  
Day by day it fades away_

_Oh, boy, I cry, cry  
You're my all, say goodbye_

I returned to my house and felt myself break down, but this time it's different. This time I know that we will never have a chance to be together. I finally realize that we are leading separate lives now, and so I cry and say farewell to the future that could have been.

_Even if we bump into each other  
Pretend you didn't see me and keep going  
If old memories keep on being thought of  
I might go look for you secretly_

Years go by and the wounds heal, but I know I will never stop loving you. I sometimes wonder what would of happened at the New Years party if I had also said I missed you, but then I berate myself for even bothering to think that.

_Always be happy with him, so I don't think of anything else  
You have to get along so there is not even a small regret in me_

_Hope your heart is relieved after leaving me  
Just forget me and live on  
Those tears will all dry up  
As day by day passes_

_If we never met each other then it would have hurt less  
The promise of us staying together is now a memory baby_

That memory continues to hurt me no matter what amount of time passes. Like you said on New Years, a small part of me feels like its missing and will never again return to the way it was.

_Oh, boy, I cry, cry  
You're my all, say goodbye, bye  
Oh, my love, don't lie, lie  
You're my heart, say goodbye_

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__It would be great if I could get some writing advise :)


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